An "English" Riddle

As the year draws to a close, I have a question to pose to my readers. This is something I've been pondering for a while, and have discussed with my friend, Monica (the Mennobrarian). She and I could only ponder the question, for we don't have the answer.

The question stems from knowing that the fascination for the Amish is perhaps at an all-time high in mainstream America. Amish novels that romanticize the Amish culture are immensely popular, and accounts of people taking trips through Amish country abound. 

Many times, the people looking in from the outside long to become part of this model of a good society that the Amish have become. On the Amish Heartland website, Esther Leggett states that she gets hundreds of inquiries about how people might be able to join the Amish. She goes on to convey her discussion with Atlee Miller from Walnut Creek, Ohio, about the six steps involved in joining a New Order Amish church. One of the steps is learning the language... no small feat... and the rest are equally arduous. She also quotes an Amish man's advice, as published in Small Farm Journal:

If you admire our faith, strengthen yours. If you admire our sense of commitment, deepen yours. If you admire our community spirit, build your own. If you admire the simple life, cut back. If you admire deep character and enduring values, live them yourself.

So, needless to say, it is not easy to join the Amish and they are not clamoring for people to join them. Some "Englishers" who had joined have subsequently left -- often the reason is that they just never felt like they were part of the culture, because they weren't born into it. Or else they became disillusioned because Amish life didn't match their image of it. So, even of those who make the commitment to go through the arduous process of "becoming" Amish, many do not stay.

Enter the Mennonites, who are quite open to having people join their culture and community. They share much of the same history and many of the same values as the Amish. One major difference is that they believe in converting people into their faith, so they actually seek "joiners." Many Mennonite communities no longer speak the Pennsylvania Dutch language, so in most cases there is no language barrier. In short, it is so much easier to become Mennonite than it is to become Amish. Why, then, are "Englishers" so eager to join the Amish, without even noticing the open arms of the Mennonites?

Can anyone help me with this question? It has me truly puzzled.

Thank you in advance for any help you can give me to solve this riddle. 


Just a side note here: I am in no way advocating that people join the Mennonites (I could not conform to becoming a Mennonite any more than I could fit myself back into the Amish mold) -- I am merely wondering why the difference in perception of these two cultures.

Reflections

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. ~ Thoreau

Why do we use the term "New Year" yet we don't have a way to refer to the year that is drawing to a close, like "Old Year?" Why do we make new year's resolutions without reflecting on what happened in the past year? Or better yet, why do we make new year's resolutions at all, when we know how rarely we keep them? After all, we usually make resolutions about what we don't want... and that works about as well as trying NOT think about a pink elephant. 

Over the last ten years I've stopped making new year's resolutions. As is often the case, I was dropping something I knew didn't work for me, but I didn't yet have a replacement.

Seven years ago, my life coach, Melita DeBellis, demonstrated to me how powerful it is to imagine my future when she asked me to write a paragraph about how I envision my life unfolding in the next ten years. I, of course, made a comment about lack of money being a barrier, and she said I should make as if it wasn't. And so I did. I wrote that I would like to go to school to earn at least a Bachelors Degree; that I would like to learn German; that I would like to go to Germany, Austria, or Switzerland for longer than a three-week vacation; and that I would like to have three books published. I also wrote that I would like to do adult literacy work. That leaves me three more years to publish two more books and get involved in some kind of adult literacy work. I think I can do that.

Using what I have learned from Melita, I have come up with a system that works for me -- that is to reflect on at least three things I am grateful for in the year that is drawing to a close and to envision three things I would like to have happen in the upcoming year. 


This year the things I am grateful for are:

1. My family: I am especially grateful for sharing my life in this cozy home with David.

2. Good health: something I have learned I should never take for granted.

3. Friends: I have a wonderfully warm and caring set of friends, both near and far.

4. The publishing of my first book: something I have been envisioning for more than fifteen years.

5. My Bicycle: I loved going for evening rides with David this summer and fall.

6. My Freedom: This is something I appreciate so much after I spent the first 23 years of my life answering to others in nearly every aspect of my life.

And the things I envision for 2011 are:

1. A successful launching of my first book.

2. Collaborating with David for writing the sequel that includes our story of a forbidden love.

3. A contract (including an advance) for this second book.

4. Feeling fit and strong as well as healthy.

5. Traveling to Europe with David.

6. Completing our home.

Are there things you are grateful for that transpired in the past year? And are there things you envision for the new year? What are they?

The Proud Mama

My editor at Michigan State University Press, Julie Loehr, called me yesterday and the first thing she asked me was, "Are you the proud mama?" We had a good laugh, but the sad thing is, I am! I know that my book is not a living, breathing being, so it's not quite the same as having my first child, but it certainly works as a metaphor. She had asked me several weeks ago, when I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my books, "Do you feel like you are ten months pregnant?" And she was right on then, too!


I received my shipment of books on Tuesday -- oh, what whooping and hollering there was between David and me, when we opened the first box and held the books in our hands! We've had the advanced copy around, but it isn't quite the same as "the real thing." Now if someone wants to buy it, they actually can. It is so exciting!


When David and I were unpacking the books and storing them on the shelf that I had emptied in preparation (much like setting up a crib, while awaiting the arrival of a baby), I looked around at all the books and I said, "Ahh, there is too many of me!" (An apparent drawback of having an image of yourself on the cover of the book.)

Lots of books... all ready to be shipped in those envelopes.

My sister, Sarah, painted the picture of our homestead hanging above the bookshelf

All jokes aside, this is an exciting time for David and me. We look forward to seeing what the book does in the market and to collaborating on the sequel to this book. This is all very challenging with each of us having a job and our house project still to be completed.
 

And the Winner Is:

Ta-Dah!

N. R. Williams! 

Congratulations, Nancy! Please send me your address, and I will send this out as soon as the book arrives (hopefully tomorrow). 

You can visit Nancy's blog by clicking here.

Thank you, everyone, for participating in the drawing. I enjoyed hearing about your favorite Christmas traditions, and I thank you kindly for creating links to my blog. 

Anyone interested in buying my book, you can click on the picture to the right for how to order. 

May everyone's Christmas be filled with peace, warmth, love, and good cheer.

Saloma

My Favorite Tradition

At Christmastime when I was a little girl, I used to gaze across the yard and admire our "English" neighbor's colorful and sparkling Christmas tree. I used to ask my mother, "Why can't we have a Christmas tree?" She would normally sigh and give me the usual Amish answer, "It's just the way it is." Sometimes this would be followed with an admonishment that I should not ask such questions and just accept the Amish ways. 


When David and I were first married, we began our tradition of cutting, putting up, and decorating a Christmas tree. Even though I have to put up with the cranky mood acquiring and trimming the tree inevitably gets David into (yesterday he threatened to buy an artificial one, to which I responded with an emphatic "NO!), I love when the tree is up and I get to unwrap all the special ornaments that we've acquired over the years, putting on some Christmas music, and settling in to decorate the tree. I always follow up with setting up the creche that David made some years ago. There is a quiet space I get into then, which is the same one that I enjoy on the dark winter nights when the tree and the creche are lit, and I can sit in the living room with a cup of tea or hot chocolate, often with David. We either sit quietly or have conversations, surrounded by the festive lights. 


One of the reasons that the Christmas tree is my favorite tradition is that it represents so many things to me... not only is it a celebration of light in the darkest time of the year, but it is also a reminder of the message to the travelers on that long-ago night when the shepherds were given the message about the miracle birth. The tree was the center of the magical Christmases we tried to create for our boys when they were little. 


Here is a photo of the tree we put up last night:

And the creche:

As I was taking these photos, I realized how the living room represents who I am, past and present. My mother could teach me how to braid woolen rugs, but she could not teach me to squelch my inquisitive nature. This was eventually one of the reasons I left the Amish, which is represented in the book. 


I love all the traditions... the homespun arts I learned from my mother, and the traditions David and I started when we got married. I love the blend of my former life and the life I now live represented in our living room.

Last Call for Entries for the Drawing for a Free Copy of "Why I Left the Amish"

Tomorrow I will be naming the winner of the drawing for a free copy of "Why I Left the Amish." If you haven't entered, here is one more chance! To do so, please create a link to my blog and/or website, and then come back and specify that you want to be in the drawing, letting me know where the link is that you've created. Please also share your favorite Christmas or holiday tradition. 

To those who already left comments on my last post, I left a comment to you, but I am posting it here again:

Hello All,

I was writing and sending a personal response to each and every one of you... I was almost done, and then I discovered that I cannot actually send you an email directly... I hadn't noticed that when I hit the "reply" button, it reads out the name of the person and then "No-reply" blah, blah, blah. Nowhere along the way was I getting a prompt that let me know these emails were not actually making it to the person I was sending it to.... how silly is that, when it's all within the google/blogger system... you'd think they would create a prompt.

Anyhow, now I've just spent all that time for nothing. So I will write to everyone all at once instead... so sorry!

First of all, thank you for your comments... I love some of the traditions. Some were new to me, such as the magical one in the mountains of Colorado and spreading the oatmeal for the reindeer. I'll be sharing my favorite tradition in my post today.

Thank you also for your compliments. Candace, it is my pleasure to share of my past and my life when I have dedicated readers who read back posts... thank you so much for your interest. 

Some of you indicated that you would like to have your name entered into the drawing and let me know where I will find the link you created -- thank you very much. For those who did not specify, will you send me an email, letting me know for sure, and include the link you created? My email address is salomafurlong(at)gmail(dot)com. And sorry, I cannot enter "Anonymous" without a name, because there are several of you.

Tomorrow I will enter the names into a bowl and have David pick the name. I will announce the winner in late afternoon/evening.

Merry Christmas to everyone! 

Saloma

Great News! And a Drawing for a free copy of "Why I Left the Amish"

My book is in!

This means that my publisher has them and I will be getting my shipment in one week. You can order your autographed copies directly from my website now (http://salomafurlong.com/Memoir.html), and I will send them to you just as soon as I get them. Unfortunately, the timing is such that the mailings have little chance of arriving at your door before Christmas. 


I am offering a free, autographed copy of my book. To enter the drawing, please create a link to my blog or webpage and then leave a comment on this post, naming your favorite Christmas or holiday tradition.


I will announce the winner of the drawing on Monday, December 21. 


I look forward to hearing from you!


Saloma 

My Experience with Brauching

Now when the sun was setting, all they that had any sick with divers diseases brought them unto him; and he laid his hands on every one of them, and healed them. ~ Luke 4:40

Mary Ann aptly described the many differences among Amish church groups in her guest post here. When I read her blog, I am constantly amazed at how different her experiences are in many respects from my own, though sometimes I am also amazed at how very similar her experiences are to my own.

In the case of "brauching" my experiences are quite different from those Mary Ann described in her guest post. What her family experienced on behalf of her little brother was indeed manipulative and creepy. It seems the people who colluded on making sure Mary Ann's brother received brauching had motives that were less than honorable and furthermore they did not know their boundaries. It was up to Mary Ann's parents to decide what was best for their small son, and allowing him to choose the time he eats sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I don't know too many children who ever chose to starve, after all.

There were people from my home community who practiced "brauching" or the laying on of hands as a form of healing things such as headaches or earaches. To my knowledge, they did not say anything while they were doing so. Usually the person who started out with the pain would describe relief, and the person doing the brauching would describe the feeling of the pain be drawn out and entering his/her arm.

The most amazing experience I ever had around brauching happened when I had gone to visit a sick man on a Sunday afternoon with the couple who I was living with at the time. There were other visitors there as well, including a mother with a baby daughter who was suffering from an earache. She tried comforting the child, she tried putting a warm patch on the baby's ear, and she tried nursing her to relieve the pain. The poor baby was screaming and crying in pain and the poor mother was feeling helpless to help her child. Because it was a Sunday afternoon, she couldn't take the child to the doctor's. (In my home community, doctors were usually visited for illnesses.) Finally the mother came into the living room and said, "Is there anyone here who can brauch? People all looked at one another, until finally the woman I lived with said to her husband, "Jake, do you want to try it?" I was shocked... I had no idea Jake had that gift. Jake hesitated, then said, "I suppose I could try it." The mother sat the child in Jake's lap, and he put a hand on each of her ears. She was crying hard, with tears streaming down both cheeks when she was put on his lap. When he put his hands on her ears, surprise registered in her eyes, and then the tears, which had run halfway down her cheeks, stopped where they were. Over the next few minutes, she got this peaceful and contented look on her face. Jake said, quietly, "It's her left ear."

On our buggy ride home, I said something about how amazing that was, and Jake and Katie didn't want to talk about it. They seemed almost embarrassed that I found out that Jake had the ability to brauch. I thought this ability was a gift, and I didn't understand why someone would want to deny such a gift.

When David and I got married, he sometimes got migraines, which seemed to run in the family (especially the men in their twenties). One day I told him I wish I could brauch and he asked what that was. So I told him what I knew, and he said, "Well put your hand on my forehead." I did. There was no immediate reaction, but in a few moments, David said, "Wow, something is happening -- I feel some relief." I said, "Yes, I feel the pain corkscrewing up into my arm."

Before I had my babies, I used to have excruciatingly painful menstrual cramps (this ran in my family). I tried warm baths, I tried a hot water bottle, I tried pain relievers and going to bed, but it didn't seem to matter what I did, I usually was sobbing in pain for three hours each month. One day I asked David if he would lay his hands on me, which he did. This relieved the pain enough to make it bearable. It was David's compassion, caring, and the laying on of his hands that got me through those months. Then when I got pregnant and had my first son, I was delighted to discover I no longer got the severe cramps.

David and I used this method of alleviating pain for one another, and then we also used it for Paul and Tim when they were growing up. When Tim was about five or six, he had an earache. That night I laid him down next to me in bed, and laid my hand on his ear. We both fell asleep. The next morning I was trying to decide whether to take him to the doctor's, and I asked him if his ear still hurt. He said, "No." then he said, "But Mommy, it did last night, and then you put your hand on my ear, and then... and then it went away!" He said this in amazement, like he was realizing it for the first time. There was another time when he ended up with an ear infection that I took him to the doctor's and got antibiotics for, but alas it took twenty-four hours for it to become effective. It is a horrible feeling to see a helpless child in great pain, but not be able to relieve it. I tried, but his pain was beyond the limits of my alleviating it by laying my hand on his ear. He still wanted my hand on his ear -- it was some comfort, but not enough to take it away.

Though brauching was used in the Amish community in which I grew up,  it wasn't ever pushed on anyone who didn't want it, either for themselves or for their children, at least not to my knowledge. I still don't understand why Jake would deny such a gift, but I understand even less the misusing of the gift, as in the case of Mary Ann's little brother.

I am learning more and more how there are very few aspects of Amish life that can be lumped together into one category. It seems brauching is another one that cannot.

I  do not see brauching to be an issue of whether someone is a true Christian or not. Rather I see it as "healing touch" which for me is nothing more than the miracle of compassion and caring, which Jesus modeled for us in the way he healed many people. I know many Christians would disagree with this interpretation, but our differing experiences, perceptions, and interpretations is what keeps life so very interesting.

Guest Post on "Brauching"

Many of you already know Mary Ann from A Joyful Chaos. I have long enjoyed her blog, with her riveting stories of her childhood/girlhood. It is through her (and other former Amish people's posts) that I have discovered just how diverse the Amish traditions, rules, and attitudes are. Mary Ann shares with you her experience of "brauching" practiced in many Amish communities. Without further ado, here is Mary Ann:


Hi there, this is Mary Ann from A Joyful Chaos. I was honored when Saloma asked me to do a guest post for her. She has a lot on her plate right now and it makes me happy if I can help her out by doing this for her.
 
As anyone who has ever been Amish will tell you, there are no two Amish communities that are exactly the same. What is accepted in one community could very easily be taboo in another one. Since my parents' brothers and sisters were scattered in a variety of communities I got to experience some of the differences first hand. Some were minor, such as the community we lived in was not allowed to have hardwood floors. I always admired the glossy hardwood floors in the houses of my cousins who weren't allowed to have linoleum. I never cared for their lack of indoor plumbing and was always glad to come home where we had hot running water and the luxury of indoor bathrooms.
 
The differing rules extended to almost every area of life from accepted colors to paint your walls, the way you made and wore your clothes, to methods of farming and home businesses. One of the most disturbing differences that I ever witnessed dealt with alternative medicine. While we used many home remedies we were always open to going to a doctor if it was necessary.
 
It all started one fall when we were visiting family in other communities. We were all enjoying our visit except one of my younger brothers who was always painfully shy around people he didn't know very well and would refuse to eat more than a few bites. My parents weren't sure what to do about it but surmised once he became hungry enough he would eat and usually once he got to be a little more comfortable with his surroundings his lack of appetite vanished.
 
The mother of the family was sure there was something seriously wrong with him that he didn't want to eat or play outside with the other children. She had just the cure she proclaimed. That there is someone who practised "braucha" (pow wow doctor) in their community who works wonders for any ailment. She would send for her and my brother would be cured since he was such a spindly little thing compared to their chubby children. My parents didn't hesitate in turning the offer down, believing that "braucha" was not something Christians should be involved with. The mother seemed almost offended as she declared my parents view as pure nonsense that Bible verses were used and what could be more Christian than that. My parents still refused so the subject was dropped.
 
The next forenoon we visited some people in the community and by the time we got back to their house for a late lunch there were some other people there too. My aunt announced happily that they had invited some friends over to meet us and as Mom was helping get lunch ready I noticed the visiting lady watch the children play. Before long she sat on a rocking chair and offered my brother a piece of candy. When he got it she lifted him onto her lap, pulled up his pant legs and started rubbing a piece of red cloth over his legs and feet while muttering weird things under her breath. I quickly went and told Mom that there was a creepy woman doing weird things to my brother. She quickly dropped everything and went to see what was going on and snatched him off her lap, leaving the woman sitting there looking smug and clutching her piece of red cloth.
 
Mom confronted her sister and asked why she had invited this quack over after they had told her they want nothing to do with "Braucha"  The "doctor" left without eating lunch. Our appetites were all ruined as we sat down at the table. As everyone paused for silent prayer before we started eating I couldn't help but feel there was something not right as my skin fairly crawled with the feeling of something creepy and undesirable. The prayer ended sooner than usual as a loud bang came from the stove. My aunt got up and went to check the ash drawer in the stove and was quite happy to find that an egg that had been wrapped in that piece of red cloth had exploded. My brother was cured she announced.
 
My parents were still vexed at the whole deal and our visit was cut short. I can only imagine how violated they must have felt.

New Front Door... and More

David and I spent untold hours with all the details... David had to build out all the trim because of the extra insulation and he stripped the lead paint from the frame. The little panels on both sides of the door are now filled with insulation, the door has a double pane, and David installed weather stripping. This makes the whole entrance more energy efficient. I just finished painting the details today. And note that the siding is done around the door, too. Progress is being made. Someday soon maybe the whole outside of the house will look this good. 

Below is a picture taken with David's work in progress when he was stripping the lead paint.

Soon what it looked like before will be but a distant memory...

To me this door looks more original to the house...

... than the door we had. 

Perhaps you can tell that I am happy with my new front door and the progress being made on the house. Next we will build/restore the window trim in the living room. We will keep what was there, but more has to be added because of the extra insulation on the outside of the house. The original trim is chestnut, but we are using oak to fill in. I will stain it to be the same color as the original trim, like I did on the door.

The roof will be finished this week... what a wonderful feeling that will be!

Life is Hectic

This has been an especially hectic and crazy week in our lives... I will be back to posting regularly soon. I hope to have pictures of our new front door and the siding that is going up around it.... all very exciting.

Tonight we are painting more trim boards for the outside of the house. The work is never-ending. Can't wait to get back to "normal" life (can't remember what that is, though).

Be back soon... I hope.